1 00:00:03,633 --> 00:00:04,700 "MIRANDA, YOU'RE MY ONE 2 00:00:04,700 --> 00:00:06,100 AND ONLY. 3 00:00:06,100 --> 00:00:07,767 BECAUSE OF YOU, I'M NEVER 4 00:00:07,767 --> 00:00:09,367 LONELY. 5 00:00:09,367 --> 00:00:10,667 I'M SO GLAD THAT WE'RE 6 00:00:10,667 --> 00:00:12,700 TOGETHER." 7 00:00:12,700 --> 00:00:13,700 I'M SO GLAD THAT WE'RE 8 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:17,233 TOGETHER, UH -- 9 00:00:17,233 --> 00:00:20,800 "AND I WANT 10 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,800 TO BE WITH YOU 11 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:26,633 F... 12 00:00:26,633 --> 00:00:29,867 FOR-- FOR-- 13 00:00:29,867 --> 00:00:32,433 FOR... 14 00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:33,767 AH. 15 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:37,967 "FOR--" HMM! 16 00:00:37,967 --> 00:00:39,233 HEY, COME ON, SON. 17 00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:40,233 LET'S GET SOMETHING TO EAT 18 00:00:40,233 --> 00:00:41,067 BEFORE C.J. GET HERE WITH THE 19 00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:42,200 TUXES. 20 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,500 POPS, I'M -- I'M TOO NERVOUS 21 00:00:43,500 --> 00:00:44,167 TO EAT. 22 00:00:44,167 --> 00:00:45,200 NOT -- NOT NOW. 23 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:46,000 WELL, YOU'RE TOO BROKE TO 24 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:46,567 GET MARRIED. 25 00:00:46,567 --> 00:00:47,833 THAT'S NOT STOPPING YOU. 26 00:00:47,833 --> 00:00:48,567 LOOK, POPS, NOT NOW. 27 00:00:48,567 --> 00:00:49,900 I'M -- I'M TRYING TO CONCENTRATE 28 00:00:49,900 --> 00:00:50,767 HERE. 29 00:00:50,767 --> 00:00:51,500 CONCENTRATE ON WHAT? 30 00:00:51,500 --> 00:00:54,267 WHAT YOU DOING? 31 00:00:54,267 --> 00:00:55,833 HUH -- CALVIN, WHY YOU WAIT TILL 32 00:00:55,833 --> 00:00:56,900 YOUR WEDDING DAY TO WRITE YOUR 33 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:58,000 VOWS? 34 00:00:58,000 --> 00:00:59,300 POPS, WITH EVERYTHING GOING 35 00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:00,767 ON, I HAVEN'T HAD TIME, AND I 36 00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,367 WOULD BE FINISHED BY NOW IF I 37 00:01:02,367 --> 00:01:05,567 WOULDN'T GET STUCK ON THE WORD 38 00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:08,667 "FORE--" "FOR--" 39 00:01:08,667 --> 00:01:10,400 [GULPS] 40 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,267 "FOR--" 41 00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:14,400 "FORE--" UGH, I-- I CAN'T SAY 42 00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:15,567 IT. 43 00:01:15,567 --> 00:01:16,533 I CAN'T SAY IT, POP. 44 00:01:16,533 --> 00:01:17,767 SAY WHAT--"FOREVER"? 45 00:01:17,767 --> 00:01:19,500 UH, YES, YES, YES, THAT, AND 46 00:01:19,500 --> 00:01:20,500 EVERY TIME I HEAR IT, I START 47 00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:22,867 GETTING NAUSEOUS AND -- AND I-I 48 00:01:22,867 --> 00:01:24,300 FEEL SICK. 49 00:01:24,300 --> 00:01:25,167 CALVIN, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU 50 00:01:25,167 --> 00:01:26,800 GETTING MARRIED? 51 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,167 I-I LOVE MIRANDA, AND I WANT 52 00:01:28,167 --> 00:01:29,133 TO SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE 53 00:01:29,133 --> 00:01:31,267 WITH HER. 54 00:01:31,267 --> 00:01:32,800 OKAY, SO WHAT YOU'RE SAYING 55 00:01:32,800 --> 00:01:35,967 IS YOU LOVE HER AND YOU WANT TO 56 00:01:35,967 --> 00:01:38,267 BE WITH HER -- FOREVER! 57 00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:38,933 YES, YES. 58 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,100 LOOK, POPS, JUST STOP SAYING 59 00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:40,867 THE WORD. 60 00:01:40,867 --> 00:01:41,533 FOREVER! 61 00:01:41,533 --> 00:01:42,200 NO, POP-- 62 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,067 FOREVER! FOREVER! FOREVER! 63 00:01:43,067 --> 00:01:43,567 FOREVER! 64 00:01:43,567 --> 00:01:44,333 I'M GOING TO THROW UP. 65 00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:45,267 I'M GOING TO THROW UP. 66 00:01:45,267 --> 00:01:46,733 YOU BETTER NOT THROW UP. 67 00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,833 CALVIN, LOOK, IF YOU LOVE 68 00:01:49,833 --> 00:01:51,567 MIRANDA AND YOU WANT TO BE WITH 69 00:01:51,567 --> 00:01:54,933 HER FOR... FOR A REALLY LONG 70 00:01:54,933 --> 00:01:57,767 TIME, WHY CAN'T YOU SAY IT? 71 00:01:57,767 --> 00:01:59,067 I DON'T KNOW. 72 00:01:59,067 --> 00:02:00,133 I-I JUST CAN'T. 73 00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,167 POPS, HELP ME. 74 00:02:02,167 --> 00:02:04,967 THIS IS RIDICULOUS. 75 00:02:04,967 --> 00:02:06,900 OKAY, ALL RIGHT, I GOT IT. 76 00:02:06,900 --> 00:02:09,067 I GOT IT. 77 00:02:09,067 --> 00:02:10,500 OKAY. 78 00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:13,767 UM -- "LOVE YOU, AND I WANT TO 79 00:02:13,767 --> 00:02:18,667 BE WITH YOU... UNTIL DEATH." 80 00:02:22,367 --> 00:02:23,533 I-I COULD DIG THIS. 81 00:02:23,533 --> 00:02:24,233 HMM. 82 00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:25,067 YEAH, I COULD DIG THIS. 83 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,900 THANK YOU, POP! 84 00:02:26,900 --> 00:02:27,833 IDIOT. 85 00:02:27,833 --> 00:02:29,533 OW. 86 00:02:29,533 --> 00:02:31,067 NOW FINISH IT. 87 00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:32,067 I'M READY TO GET DRESSED. 88 00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:32,900 ALL RIGHT, WHERE'S DAD WITH THE 89 00:02:32,900 --> 00:02:33,633 TUXES? 90 00:02:33,633 --> 00:02:35,400 MAN, HE IS TAKING FOREVER. 91 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,100 "FOREVER." 92 00:02:39,333 --> 00:02:41,600 WHAT DID I SAY? 93 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,967 THE "F" WORD. 94 00:02:51,433 --> 00:02:52,633 AH! 95 00:02:52,633 --> 00:02:54,067 HMM. 96 00:02:54,067 --> 00:02:55,900 ISN'T THIS THE LIFE? 97 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,100 YES, DEAR, IT IS. 98 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:57,967 [ CHUCKLING ] 99 00:02:57,967 --> 00:02:58,633 YEAH. 100 00:02:58,633 --> 00:02:59,400 I COULD GET USED TO THIS. 101 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:00,133 I JUST LOVE BEING 102 00:03:00,133 --> 00:03:00,767 PAMPERED. 103 00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,767 DON'T YOU, MIRANDA? 104 00:03:02,767 --> 00:03:04,233 SWEETHEART, WHAT'S WRONG? 105 00:03:04,233 --> 00:03:05,500 OH, MOMMY! 106 00:03:05,500 --> 00:03:06,300 ALL OF THE STRESS FROM THIS 107 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:07,867 WEDDING IS MAKING MY FACE BREAK 108 00:03:07,867 --> 00:03:09,300 OUT -- LOOK AT THIS BIG ZIT! 109 00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:09,967 OH! 110 00:03:09,967 --> 00:03:10,700 LET ME SEE, COME ON. 111 00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,167 LET ME SEE, LET ME SEE. 112 00:03:12,167 --> 00:03:14,500 BABY, THERE IS NOTHING THERE. 113 00:03:14,500 --> 00:03:16,433 MOMMY, YES, IT IS RIGHT HERE! 114 00:03:16,433 --> 00:03:17,200 AHEM. ELLA, DO YOU SEE 115 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:17,767 ANYTHING? 116 00:03:17,767 --> 00:03:18,433 LOOK, LOOK, LOOK. 117 00:03:18,433 --> 00:03:19,233 IT'S RIGHT THERE, IT'S RIGHT 118 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:19,967 THERE, IT'S RIGHT THERE. 119 00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:20,700 MIRANDA, I DON'T SEE 120 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,533 ANYTHING EITHER, BABY. 121 00:03:22,533 --> 00:03:23,267 MIRANDA, TURN AROUND, 122 00:03:23,267 --> 00:03:23,933 SWEETIE, LET ME SEE. 123 00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:24,967 LOOK! 124 00:03:24,967 --> 00:03:26,533 UH, YOU KNOW WHAT, BABY? 125 00:03:26,533 --> 00:03:27,700 I THINK YOU'RE HALLUCINATING. 126 00:03:27,700 --> 00:03:28,533 THERE'S NO PIMPLE THERE. 127 00:03:28,533 --> 00:03:29,367 OK, WELL, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, 128 00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:29,867 WAIT. 129 00:03:29,867 --> 00:03:31,633 I AM NOT HALLUCINATING! 130 00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:32,567 THERE IS A ZIT, AND IT IS RIGHT 131 00:03:32,567 --> 00:03:33,833 HERE AND I SEE IT. 132 00:03:33,833 --> 00:03:34,767 OKAY. 133 00:03:34,767 --> 00:03:35,667 OH! 134 00:03:35,667 --> 00:03:36,400 YOU -- YOU KNOW WHAT? 135 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:37,467 MIRANDA, I THINK YOU NEED TO 136 00:03:37,467 --> 00:03:38,667 CUT BACK ON THE CAFFEINE. 137 00:03:38,667 --> 00:03:39,433 YEP. 138 00:03:39,433 --> 00:03:40,100 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 139 00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:41,800 OH, EXCUSE ME. 140 00:03:44,967 --> 00:03:46,467 HELLO? 141 00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:47,733 CLARETHA? 142 00:03:47,733 --> 00:03:48,600 WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FINISH MY 143 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:50,767 MAKEUP? 144 00:03:50,767 --> 00:03:51,667 OH, ELLA, I'M GOING TO GET 145 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:53,067 RIGHT ON YOU AS SOON AS I 146 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,500 FINISH THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE 147 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:55,633 AND THE MATRON OF HONOR. 148 00:03:55,633 --> 00:03:57,133 OH, AND THE USHERS AND THE 149 00:03:57,133 --> 00:03:58,333 CATERER AND THE BRIDESMAIDS 150 00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:59,067 AND -- 151 00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:00,067 CLARETHA, FORGET IT. 152 00:04:00,067 --> 00:04:00,733 OH. 153 00:04:00,733 --> 00:04:01,533 JUST FORGET IT. 154 00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,667 OH, OKAY. 155 00:04:02,667 --> 00:04:04,667 WHERE IS YOUR SISTER, ANYWAY? 156 00:04:04,667 --> 00:04:06,600 OH. THAT WAS YOUR FATHER. 157 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:07,533 THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY DELIVERY 158 00:04:07,533 --> 00:04:08,400 AT THE HOTEL. 159 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:09,633 WHAT? 160 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:10,433 THE HOUSEKEEPER WENT INTO 161 00:04:10,433 --> 00:04:11,333 LABOR. 162 00:04:11,333 --> 00:04:12,267 BUT WHAT IF HE DOESN'T GET 163 00:04:12,267 --> 00:04:13,233 HERE IN TIME? 164 00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:14,267 OH! 165 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:15,800 OH. 166 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,267 WAIT, WAIT. 167 00:04:17,267 --> 00:04:18,733 BUT -- WHO'S GOING TO WALK ME 168 00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:19,667 DOWN THE AISLE? 169 00:04:19,667 --> 00:04:20,633 WHO IS GOING TO BE MY MATRON OF 170 00:04:20,633 --> 00:04:21,600 HONOR? 171 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,433 MIRANDA, I NEED YOU TO CALM 172 00:04:22,433 --> 00:04:23,233 DOWN BEFORE YOU SEND ME INTO 173 00:04:23,233 --> 00:04:24,200 LABOR, OKAY? 174 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:24,900 [ MIRANDA SIGHS ] 175 00:04:24,900 --> 00:04:25,567 THIS IS-- 176 00:04:25,567 --> 00:04:26,267 HEY, RELAX! 177 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,100 YOUR FATHER IS NOT GOING TO 178 00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,467 MISS YOUR WEDDING, OKAY? 179 00:04:28,467 --> 00:04:29,233 YEAH. 180 00:04:29,233 --> 00:04:30,500 JUST TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND 181 00:04:30,500 --> 00:04:31,933 THINK OF HAPPY THOUGHTS, AND 182 00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,300 THAT ALWAYS CALMS ME DOWN. 183 00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,067 OKAY. 184 00:04:34,067 --> 00:04:35,800 OKAY, EVERYBODY, INHALE. 185 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,067 [ ALL INHALE DEEPLY ] 186 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:37,800 AND BLOW IT OUT -- EXHALE. 187 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:38,767 [ ALL EXHALE DEEPLY ] 188 00:04:38,767 --> 00:04:39,600 AND INHALE. 189 00:04:39,600 --> 00:04:40,267 [ ALL INHALE ] 190 00:04:40,267 --> 00:04:41,067 AND THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS. 191 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:41,733 [ ALL EXHALE DEEPLY ] 192 00:04:41,733 --> 00:04:42,367 HAPPY THOUGHTS, 193 00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:42,967 HAPPY THOUGHTS. 194 00:04:42,967 --> 00:04:44,067 READY, READY? 195 00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:44,933 UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH, UH-HUH. 196 00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:45,733 [ MIRANDA CHUCKLES ] 197 00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:48,933 UH-UH, UH-UH, UH-UH, UH-UH! 198 00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:50,567 WHAT WAS -- WHAT WAS THAT 199 00:04:50,567 --> 00:04:51,400 THOUGHT? 200 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,200 DO YOU THINK THAT CALVIN IS 201 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:54,733 AS NERVOUS AS I AM? 202 00:04:54,733 --> 00:04:56,300 UH, NO. 203 00:04:57,833 --> 00:04:59,200 I CAN'T BREATHE. 204 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:00,533 I CAN'T BREATHE. 205 00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:01,767 I CAN'T BREATHE. 206 00:05:01,767 --> 00:05:02,800 WHAT IF I -- WHAT IF I DON'T 207 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:03,767 FINISH WRITING MY VOWS IN TIME? 208 00:05:03,767 --> 00:05:04,800 I MEAN, MIRANDA'S GOING TO 209 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:06,300 THINK I DON'T LOVE HER. 210 00:05:06,300 --> 00:05:07,667 COME ON, COUSIN CALVIN. 211 00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:09,267 MAN UP! 212 00:05:09,267 --> 00:05:10,900 OKAY? 213 00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:12,433 THOUGHT YOU WERE A PLAYER. 214 00:05:12,433 --> 00:05:13,500 BUT IF GETTING MARRIED GETS YOU 215 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:14,167 DOWN LIKE THIS, 216 00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,733 I'M STAYING SINGLE. 217 00:05:15,733 --> 00:05:17,667 HUH -- LIKE YOU REALLY 218 00:05:17,667 --> 00:05:18,933 HAVE A CHOICE. 219 00:05:18,933 --> 00:05:20,133 I DO, AND I'M NOT GETTING 220 00:05:20,133 --> 00:05:22,333 MARRIED, BUT I WILL HAVE A LOT 221 00:05:22,333 --> 00:05:24,167 OF LADIES. 222 00:05:29,533 --> 00:05:31,267 OKAY, LADIES. 223 00:05:31,267 --> 00:05:32,833 YOU'VE TAKEN THE TOUR. 224 00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:34,200 THAT WAS MY BEDROOM AND -- 225 00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:36,400 COMPLETE WITH THE HOT TUB BIG 226 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:37,500 ENOUGH FOR THREE. 227 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:38,867 [ CHUCKLES ] 228 00:05:38,867 --> 00:05:40,567 YOU SAW MY WALL WITH ALL OF MY 229 00:05:40,567 --> 00:05:42,700 AWARDS, ACCOLADES FOR VALOR AND 230 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,967 HEROISM, INCLUDING COMMENDATIONS 231 00:05:44,967 --> 00:05:47,067 FROM THE PRESIDENTS -- TWO, 232 00:05:47,067 --> 00:05:49,133 INCLUDING OBAMA. 233 00:05:49,133 --> 00:05:50,867 BUT NOW, I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY 234 00:05:50,867 --> 00:05:52,533 PRIZE POSSESSION. 235 00:05:52,533 --> 00:05:55,333 I WANT TO SHOW YOU MY -- 236 00:05:55,333 --> 00:05:57,233 MY UNCLE CURTIS. 237 00:05:57,233 --> 00:05:59,467 YO, YO, GET OVER HERE. 238 00:05:59,467 --> 00:06:01,467 WHOO, LOOK AT THEM! 239 00:06:01,467 --> 00:06:02,700 BOY, LOOK AT THEM. 240 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:03,533 BOY, DON'T YOU LOOK AT ME LIKE 241 00:06:03,533 --> 00:06:04,067 THAT, GIRL. 242 00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,067 LOOK HOW SHE--LOOK HOW SHE DO 243 00:06:05,067 --> 00:06:05,700 LIKE THAT. 244 00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:07,067 UNCLE CURTIS, WHAT ARE YOU 245 00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:08,367 DOING HERE? 246 00:06:08,367 --> 00:06:09,233 WHAT ARE YOU -- 247 00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:10,667 YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. 248 00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:11,600 WHY NOT? 249 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,433 THIS IS MY FUTURE FANTASY, 250 00:06:13,433 --> 00:06:14,933 NOT A NIGHTMARE. 251 00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:15,733 YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT A 252 00:06:15,733 --> 00:06:17,067 NIGHTMARE? 253 00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:17,867 YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM WHEN HE 254 00:06:17,867 --> 00:06:20,500 WAS BORN -- OOH! 255 00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:21,767 YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT UGLY? 256 00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:22,867 THANK YOU. 257 00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,067 YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT UGLY, 258 00:06:24,067 --> 00:06:25,200 BOY? 259 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:26,600 HEY, IT WAS -- IT WAS A COUPLE 260 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:27,567 OF YEARS BEFORE I COULD SHOW HIM 261 00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:28,733 TO ANYBODY. 262 00:06:28,733 --> 00:06:29,700 HE WAS SO UGLY, UNLIKE 263 00:06:29,700 --> 00:06:31,133 YOURSELVES. 264 00:06:31,133 --> 00:06:32,167 OOP--YOU TRIPPED ME, YOU 265 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:32,833 TRIPPED ME. 266 00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:33,767 [ CHUCKLES ] 267 00:06:33,767 --> 00:06:36,100 WHAT -- WHAT YOU TOUCHING? 268 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,233 FLIP ME OVER. 269 00:06:37,233 --> 00:06:39,100 FLIP ME OVER. 270 00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:40,733 YEAH, THERE WE GO. 271 00:06:40,733 --> 00:06:41,667 OH, MY GOODNESS. 272 00:06:41,667 --> 00:06:42,633 UNCLE CURTIS, YOU'RE RUINING 273 00:06:42,633 --> 00:06:43,900 MY FANTASY. 274 00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:44,700 WELL, YOU RUINED MY PAST 275 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:45,400 FANTASIES. 276 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,633 THIS IS PAYBACK. 277 00:06:47,633 --> 00:06:48,833 HEY, MALIK? 278 00:06:48,833 --> 00:06:50,667 JAZMINE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING 279 00:06:50,667 --> 00:06:52,300 IN MY FUTURE FANTASY? 280 00:06:52,300 --> 00:06:53,500 THIS IS MY HOUSE AND YOU 281 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,133 LIVE WITH ME. 282 00:06:55,133 --> 00:06:56,067 [ MALIK SIGHS ] 283 00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,233 WHO ARE THESE GIRLS? 284 00:06:57,233 --> 00:06:58,767 YOU GOT TO GO! 285 00:06:58,767 --> 00:06:59,667 GET OUT NOW. 286 00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:00,467 NO. 287 00:07:00,467 --> 00:07:02,367 NO, THIS IS NOT HOW MY FUTURE 288 00:07:02,367 --> 00:07:04,067 IS SUPPOSED TO BE -- NOT MY 289 00:07:04,067 --> 00:07:05,233 FANTASY. 290 00:07:05,233 --> 00:07:05,967 PLEASE, I'M GOING TO 291 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,200 AGGRAVATE YOU UNTIL YOU DIE. 292 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:09,900 OH. 293 00:07:09,900 --> 00:07:12,467 JAZMINE! 294 00:07:12,467 --> 00:07:13,967 WHAT? 295 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:17,067 SHE'S NOT EVEN HERE. 296 00:07:17,067 --> 00:07:17,867 C.J., C.J., DID -- DID YOU 297 00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:18,767 GET THE TUXES? 298 00:07:18,767 --> 00:07:19,867 YEAH, YEAH. 299 00:07:19,867 --> 00:07:20,700 I'M SORRY THE TUXEDO SHOP WAS 300 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:21,833 KIND OF CROWDED, BUT IT TOOK 301 00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:22,967 FOREVER. 302 00:07:22,967 --> 00:07:24,467 "FOREVER." 303 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:27,133 CALVIN? 304 00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:32,433 WHAT'D I SAY? 305 00:07:32,433 --> 00:07:33,767 THE "F" WORD. 306 00:07:35,467 --> 00:07:37,400 WHERE DID YOU GET THIS? 307 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:38,300 A LITTLE BOUTIQUE HAD THAT 308 00:07:38,300 --> 00:07:38,967 AND -- 309 00:07:38,967 --> 00:07:40,467 BEAUTIFUL! 310 00:07:40,467 --> 00:07:42,133 OOH! 311 00:07:42,133 --> 00:07:44,533 SANDRA, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS! 312 00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:45,667 THANK YOU. 313 00:07:45,667 --> 00:07:47,133 AND YOU LOOK STUNNING. 314 00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:47,933 OH, LOOK AT YOU GUYS. 315 00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:48,700 YES, I DO, BUT WE WERE 316 00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,800 TALKING ABOUT ME. YES, I DO. 317 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,700 [ LAUGHING ] 318 00:07:52,700 --> 00:07:54,700 I DO GREAT WORK. 319 00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:55,733 YES, YOU DO. 320 00:07:55,733 --> 00:07:56,533 IT WAS HARD WORK, BUT 321 00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:58,333 SOMEBODY HAD TO DO IT. 322 00:07:58,333 --> 00:07:59,767 BUT YOU LOOK GOOD. 323 00:07:59,767 --> 00:08:01,067 WELL, WHAT ABOUT ME? 324 00:08:01,067 --> 00:08:02,067 HOW DO I LOOK? 325 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,200 YOU LOOK LIKE A LITTLE 326 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:04,267 PRINCESS, DON'T YOU? 327 00:08:04,267 --> 00:08:06,567 THANK YOU. 328 00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:07,967 I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE-UP. 329 00:08:07,967 --> 00:08:09,833 [ WOMEN LAUGH ] 330 00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:17,567 * MIRANDA * 331 00:08:17,567 --> 00:08:18,233 YES? 332 00:08:18,233 --> 00:08:20,067 WHY AREN'T YOU DRESSED? 333 00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,133 OH, I'M NOT GETTING DRESSED 334 00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:22,333 TILL MY FATHER GETS HERE. 335 00:08:22,333 --> 00:08:23,233 BUT WHAT IF HE DOESN'T 336 00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:23,900 SHOW UP? 337 00:08:23,900 --> 00:08:25,633 JAZMINE. 338 00:08:25,633 --> 00:08:26,833 OH, MY GOODNESS. 339 00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:28,333 WHAT IF HE DOESN'T GET HERE? 340 00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:29,333 LISTEN, I-I CAN'T GET MARRIED 341 00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:30,067 WITHOUT HIM. 342 00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,133 WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 343 00:08:31,133 --> 00:08:32,067 BABY, JUST BREATHE, BREATHE. 344 00:08:32,067 --> 00:08:32,700 BREATHE. 345 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:34,067 HAPPY THOUGHTS. 346 00:08:34,067 --> 00:08:34,933 LISTEN, LISTEN, THINK ABOUT 347 00:08:34,933 --> 00:08:36,067 YOUR FUTURE. 348 00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:37,500 THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE -- SOON, 349 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,667 YOU'LL BE MARRIED WITH CALVIN. 350 00:08:38,667 --> 00:08:39,867 THAT AIN'T NO HAPPY THOUGHT, 351 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,100 JANINE. 352 00:08:41,100 --> 00:08:42,667 AND -- AND YOU ARE GOING TO 353 00:08:42,667 --> 00:08:44,400 BE LIVING IN YOUR OWN HOUSE AND 354 00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:45,333 YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE YOUR OWN 355 00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:46,800 LITTLE BEAUTIFUL BABIES. 356 00:08:46,800 --> 00:08:47,567 HOW THEY GOING TO BUY A 357 00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:48,133 HOUSE? 358 00:08:48,133 --> 00:08:48,967 CALVIN AIN'T GOT NO MONEY. 359 00:08:48,967 --> 00:08:51,067 HE CAN'T FEED NO CHILDREN. 360 00:08:51,067 --> 00:08:52,067 HE DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT 361 00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:52,700 BIRTHING NO BABIES. 362 00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:53,933 CLARETHA! 363 00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:54,867 BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU'LL 364 00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:55,733 BE DOING THIS TO YOUR OWN 365 00:08:55,733 --> 00:08:56,400 DAUGHTER. 366 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:57,900 [ KISSES ] 367 00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,300 WELL, ACTUALLY, I WANT A SON. 368 00:08:59,300 --> 00:09:00,067 REALLY? 369 00:09:00,067 --> 00:09:01,067 REALLY? 370 00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:01,900 YEAH. 371 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:02,733 I WANT A LITTLE BOY JUST LIKE 372 00:09:02,733 --> 00:09:03,700 CALVIN. 373 00:09:03,700 --> 00:09:04,567 OH. 374 00:09:04,567 --> 00:09:05,867 BABY, BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU ASK 375 00:09:05,867 --> 00:09:07,300 FOR. 376 00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,133 [ PLAYING VIDEO GAME ] 377 00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,800 COME ON, MAN. 378 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:14,467 CALVIN. 379 00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:15,767 [ CALVIN LAUGHS ] 380 00:09:15,767 --> 00:09:17,167 STOP PLAYING THOSE VIDEO GAMES 381 00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,133 AND GET IN THERE AND CLEAN UP 382 00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:19,067 YOUR ROOM. 383 00:09:19,067 --> 00:09:19,767 ALL RIGHT, DAD. 384 00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:20,967 I ALMOST BEAT A NEW RECORD. 385 00:09:20,967 --> 00:09:22,333 AND BESIDES, I DID IT YESTERDAY. 386 00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:23,333 DON'T PLAY WITH ME. 387 00:09:23,333 --> 00:09:25,367 I WILL -- I WILL -- I WILL -- 388 00:09:25,367 --> 00:09:27,567 OKAY, POPS -- COOL. 389 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,500 AND WHY IS MY ELECTRICITY 390 00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:30,967 BILL SO HIGH? 391 00:09:30,967 --> 00:09:31,633 WHY IS IT SO HIGH? 392 00:09:31,633 --> 00:09:32,400 YOU'RE SITTING UP IN HERE 393 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,467 PLAYING VIDEO GAMES, BREATHING 394 00:09:33,467 --> 00:09:34,367 UP ALL MY GOOD AIR. 395 00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:35,500 [ DOOR OPENS ] 396 00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:37,400 HEY. 397 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:38,067 HEY, BABY. 398 00:09:38,067 --> 00:09:38,867 HAVE YOU NOTICED HOW HIGH 399 00:09:38,867 --> 00:09:40,400 OUR BILLS HAVE BEEN? 400 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:41,933 YOU SAY THE SAME THING EVERY 401 00:09:41,933 --> 00:09:43,300 TIME, CALVIN. 402 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,167 WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE 403 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,600 TRUE. 404 00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:46,367 OH. 405 00:09:46,367 --> 00:09:48,300 AND, CALVIN JR., SCHOOL CALLED. 406 00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:50,233 YOU CHANGED YOUR MAJOR AGAIN? 407 00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:51,767 YEP. 408 00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:52,567 THAT'S THE SIXTH TIME. 409 00:09:52,567 --> 00:09:53,400 BOY, WHAT DID YOU CHANGE YOUR 410 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:54,667 MAJOR TO NOW? 411 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:55,467 WELL, SEE, DAD, THERE WAS 412 00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:56,433 THIS GIRL WHO WAS STUDYING 413 00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,500 BIOLOGY --HUH-- SO I HAD TO 414 00:09:58,500 --> 00:10:01,067 STUDY HER BIOLOGY. 415 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,433 THAT'S SO CORNY. 416 00:10:02,433 --> 00:10:03,467 THAT'S SO CORNY. 417 00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:04,267 BOY, I DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU 418 00:10:04,267 --> 00:10:05,000 LEARN IT FROM. 419 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,967 HE GETS IT FROM YOU. 420 00:10:06,967 --> 00:10:07,867 MIRANDA, PLEASE, I WAS NEVER 421 00:10:07,867 --> 00:10:08,767 LIKE THAT. 422 00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:09,500 [ MIRANDA CHUCKLES ] 423 00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:10,333 WELL, HE SURELY DIDN'T GET 424 00:10:10,333 --> 00:10:12,100 IT FROM ME. HMM. 425 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,667 [ SIREN WAILS, KNOCK ON DOOR ] 426 00:10:14,667 --> 00:10:15,800 CALVIN PAYNE JR., WE KNOW 427 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,200 YOU'RE IN THERE. 428 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,300 YOU ARE WANTED FOR THE OLD 429 00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:19,600 DONKEY IN THE BUCKET TRICK, 430 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,833 CHECK FRAUD, AND PENSION 431 00:10:20,833 --> 00:10:21,667 STEALING. 432 00:10:21,667 --> 00:10:23,400 HMM. 433 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,433 I WONDER WHERE HE LEARNED THAT. 434 00:10:25,433 --> 00:10:27,133 AND MALE PROSTITUTION. 435 00:10:27,133 --> 00:10:28,633 WHAT? 436 00:10:28,633 --> 00:10:29,900 HUH, HUH! 437 00:10:29,900 --> 00:10:30,700 DON'T LOOK AT ME. 438 00:10:30,700 --> 00:10:32,200 THAT WAS MY POPS. 439 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,067 [ MIRANDA SIGHS ] 440 00:10:36,067 --> 00:10:37,333 OH! 441 00:10:38,433 --> 00:10:40,733 WHAT? 442 00:10:40,733 --> 00:10:42,033 I THINK I WANT A GIRL. 443 00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:43,967 YES. 444 00:10:45,833 --> 00:10:46,800 THAT'S ENOUGH PICTURES. 445 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:47,733 SAVE THEM. 446 00:10:47,733 --> 00:10:49,300 THIS FAMILY COSTS MORE THAN GAS. 447 00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,233 LOOKING SHARP, UNCLE CURTIS. 448 00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,033 LOOKING GOOD, MAN. 449 00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:52,000 DON'T I LOOK GOOD? 450 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:52,833 LOOK AT YOU -- YOU'RE LOOKING 451 00:10:52,833 --> 00:10:53,600 GOOD YOURSELF THERE, YOUNG 452 00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:54,433 FELLOW. 453 00:10:54,433 --> 00:10:55,567 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 454 00:10:55,567 --> 00:10:56,267 YOU KNOW I TRY. 455 00:10:56,267 --> 00:10:58,300 I TRY TO DO HOW I DO, YOU KNOW. 456 00:10:58,300 --> 00:10:59,067 NO PICTURES, PLEASE. 457 00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,767 NO PICTURES, NO PICTURES. 458 00:11:00,767 --> 00:11:01,633 OH, BOY, WHOA -- WAIT A MINUTE, 459 00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:02,100 PLAYER. 460 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:02,933 NOW, COME -- COME ON, TAKE MY 461 00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:03,700 PICTURE NOW, MAN. 462 00:11:03,700 --> 00:11:05,367 TAKE MY PICTURE. 463 00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,900 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 464 00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,600 OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH. 465 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,400 I TOLD YOU I AIN'T BUYING NO 466 00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:10,667 MORE FILM. 467 00:11:10,667 --> 00:11:11,833 HE AIN'T THE GROOM. 468 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:12,600 SPEAKING OF THE GROOM, 469 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:13,967 WHAT'S TAKING CALVIN SO LONG? 470 00:11:13,967 --> 00:11:16,067 I DON'T KNOW -- CALVIN! 471 00:11:16,067 --> 00:11:18,233 I CAN'T GET MARRIED! 472 00:11:18,233 --> 00:11:19,867 YES, YOU CAN! 473 00:11:19,867 --> 00:11:21,933 NOT IF I LOOK LIKE PRINCE! 474 00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:23,067 WHAT'S HE TALKING ABOUT? 475 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,300 I HAVE NO IDEA. 476 00:11:24,300 --> 00:11:25,967 CALVIN, GET OUT HERE NOW! 477 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:30,200 [ C.J. CHUCKLES ] 478 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:31,200 OOH-AAH! 479 00:11:36,567 --> 00:11:37,533 OH. 480 00:11:37,533 --> 00:11:38,500 WHAT YOU -- TURN AROUND. 481 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,333 LET ME SEE IF THE BACK IS CUT 482 00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:40,267 OUT. 483 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:41,367 WHAT -- THE BUTT CHEEKS? 484 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,200 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 485 00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,767 WHAT THE HELL DO YOU HAVE ON? 486 00:11:44,767 --> 00:11:46,667 OBVIOUSLY, THE WRONG TUX! 487 00:11:46,667 --> 00:11:47,733 OH, I GOT TO GET A PICTURE 488 00:11:47,733 --> 00:11:48,867 WITH THIS. 489 00:11:48,867 --> 00:11:49,700 I HAVE GOT TO GET A PICTURE 490 00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:50,767 WITH -- YOU DON'T MEET 491 00:11:50,767 --> 00:11:52,133 CELEBRITIES OFTEN. 492 00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:52,800 HA! 493 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,567 [ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ] 494 00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:54,400 OH, TAKE ONE WITH THE BEST 495 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:54,800 MAN. 496 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:55,600 TAKE ONE WITH THE BEST MAN. 497 00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,200 OKAY, COME ON, COME ON! 498 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,133 UH, ME, TOO. ME, TOO. 499 00:11:58,133 --> 00:11:59,700 SAY 1999. 500 00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,067 1999! 501 00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:02,800 GET OFF ME! 502 00:12:02,800 --> 00:12:03,567 HOW -- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED 503 00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:04,133 TO DO? 504 00:12:04,133 --> 00:12:04,967 HOW AM I GOING TO GET MARRIED 505 00:12:04,967 --> 00:12:06,367 LIKE THIS? 506 00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:07,967 JUST -- PUT -- MAN, JUST -- 507 00:12:07,967 --> 00:12:09,767 JUST PUT ON A RASPBERRY BERET. 508 00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:11,200 AND THROW ON SOME DIAMONDS 509 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,500 AND PEARLS. 510 00:12:12,500 --> 00:12:13,267 AND HOP IN YOUR LITTLE RED 511 00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:14,367 CORVETTE. 512 00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,333 THIS ISN'T FUNNY, POPS! 513 00:12:15,333 --> 00:12:16,200 OKAY, OKAY. 514 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,067 WE'RE GOING TO RIDE BACK TO THE 515 00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:17,933 SHOP AND FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED, 516 00:12:17,933 --> 00:12:18,933 ALL RIGHT? 517 00:12:18,933 --> 00:12:20,600 COME ON, RIDE WITH ME, MALIK. 518 00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,567 HEY, LET'S NOT OPEN THE 519 00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:22,233 SUNROOF. 520 00:12:22,233 --> 00:12:23,567 IT MIGHT BE A PURPLE RAIN -- 521 00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:24,667 OOH-AH! 522 00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,067 KIND OF FUNNY. 523 00:12:27,067 --> 00:12:27,733 NO, IT'S NOT. 524 00:12:27,733 --> 00:12:28,400 NO, IT'S NOT. 525 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,200 LET'S--LET'S FACE IT, POPS. 526 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:30,667 I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO GET MARRIED. 527 00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:31,700 CALVIN, STOP IT. 528 00:12:31,700 --> 00:12:32,633 YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO GET THE 529 00:12:32,633 --> 00:12:34,500 HELL OUT MY HOUSE! 530 00:12:34,500 --> 00:12:35,233 SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET 531 00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:36,500 MARRIED WHILE YOU DOING IT. 532 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:37,667 YOU DON'T STOP, DO YOU -- 533 00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:38,500 ALWAYS THREATENING TO KICK ME 534 00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:39,067 OUT? 535 00:12:39,067 --> 00:12:39,900 ONE DAY, I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU 536 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:40,900 HOW IT FEELS. 537 00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:41,967 WHAT YOU GOING TO DO? 538 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:47,233 MAN, I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE 539 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:47,900 BET ON THEM! 540 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:49,567 I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE! 541 00:12:49,567 --> 00:12:50,400 WELL, THEY LOSE EVERY TIME -- 542 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,500 EVERY TIME THEY HAVE A TELEVISED 543 00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:53,467 GLOBAL GAME. 544 00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:54,333 POPS? 545 00:12:54,333 --> 00:12:55,467 WELL, LOOK, I'M TAKING MY 546 00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:56,700 CREDIT CARD AND MY $1,000 547 00:12:56,700 --> 00:12:57,700 ELSEWHERE NEXT TIME, I TELL YOU. 548 00:12:57,700 --> 00:12:58,367 POPS? 549 00:12:58,367 --> 00:12:59,067 HOLD ON, HOLD ON. 550 00:12:59,067 --> 00:12:59,867 I'M TRYING TO STRAIGHTEN THIS 551 00:12:59,867 --> 00:13:00,733 OUT. 552 00:13:00,733 --> 00:13:01,633 NO -- WELL, THEN PUT ANOTHER 553 00:13:01,633 --> 00:13:02,800 GRAND ON IT, THEN! 554 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,667 POPS, IS THAT A LONG-DISTANCE 555 00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:04,300 CALL? 556 00:13:04,300 --> 00:13:05,200 YEAH -- YES. 557 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,300 YEAH, SON, I'M TRYING TO DO 558 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,167 THIS BET HERE. 559 00:13:07,167 --> 00:13:08,233 YEAH, WELL -- WELL, IT AIN'T MY 560 00:13:08,233 --> 00:13:09,567 MONEY! 561 00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:11,533 CURTIS HAS TO GO -- GOODBYE. 562 00:13:11,533 --> 00:13:13,067 UH -- HUH? 563 00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,067 NO, I DON'T WANT TO PLACE ANY 564 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:15,067 BETS! 565 00:13:15,067 --> 00:13:16,567 THEY GOT GOOD ODDS. 566 00:13:16,567 --> 00:13:17,400 HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO 567 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,467 TELL YOU -- NO MORE 568 00:13:18,467 --> 00:13:20,067 LONG-DISTANCE CALLS AND NO MORE 569 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:20,733 BETTING? 570 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:21,400 I HAD TO BET. 571 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:22,600 IT WAS A SURE THING. 572 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:23,867 WELL, DID YOU WIN? 573 00:13:23,867 --> 00:13:26,567 UH, NO, BUT I DIDN'T LOSE. 574 00:13:26,567 --> 00:13:27,400 WASN'T MY MONEY -- IT WAS YOUR 575 00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,067 MONEY. 576 00:13:28,067 --> 00:13:29,800 I GOT THE CARD RIGHT HERE! 577 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:30,533 I GOT THE CARD -- 578 00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:31,533 GET OUT OF MY CHAIR. 579 00:13:31,533 --> 00:13:32,367 WAIT, WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE! 580 00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:33,167 THIS IS WOOD. THIS IS WOOD! 581 00:13:33,167 --> 00:13:33,967 NO, GET OUT OF MY CHAIR. 582 00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:34,633 I CAN'T -- OUCH! 583 00:13:34,633 --> 00:13:35,367 OW, I GOT SPLINTERS! 584 00:13:35,367 --> 00:13:38,267 UH, UH! 585 00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:39,367 GO GET THE TWEEZERS. 586 00:13:40,967 --> 00:13:42,267 YOU GOING TO LEAVE ME DOWN HERE? 587 00:13:42,267 --> 00:13:43,233 YEAH. 588 00:13:43,233 --> 00:13:44,500 PLEASE DON'T. 589 00:13:44,500 --> 00:13:47,633 IT'S COLD DOWN HERE. 590 00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:48,767 YOU ALL GOT WOOD FLOORS, WOOD 591 00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:51,200 CHAIR, WOOD -- COULD YOU ALL 592 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,900 GET -- YOU ALL PRESERVING THE 593 00:13:52,900 --> 00:13:54,067 WOOD. 594 00:13:58,400 --> 00:13:59,167 BOY, EVER SINCE I'VE BEEN 595 00:13:59,167 --> 00:14:00,200 TAKING THAT TAE BO, IT IS GOOD 596 00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,733 AND TIGHT. 597 00:14:01,733 --> 00:14:02,667 FEELS LIKE IT JUST LIKE-- 598 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:09,167 OH. 599 00:14:09,167 --> 00:14:09,833 HEY, BABY. 600 00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:10,633 HEY, BABY. 601 00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:12,633 HMM. 602 00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:13,900 COME ON, MS. PAYNE. 603 00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:15,067 HERE I COME. 604 00:14:15,067 --> 00:14:15,867 OH, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA -- THE 605 00:14:15,867 --> 00:14:16,500 EGGS ARE IN THERE. 606 00:14:16,500 --> 00:14:17,633 WAIT A MINUTE. 607 00:14:17,633 --> 00:14:18,367 WELL -- IT'S CLOSING! 608 00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:19,067 IT'S CLOSING, BABY! 609 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:19,633 OH! 610 00:14:19,633 --> 00:14:20,933 YOU GOT TO GET ME, BABY. 611 00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:22,467 GET ME AND BRING ME IN. 612 00:14:22,467 --> 00:14:24,267 I GUESS I AIN'T NEVER -- WHY 613 00:14:24,267 --> 00:14:25,633 THIS DOOR DONE SHUT? 614 00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:26,867 WHO SHUT IT? 615 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:27,933 WELL, WHO -- WHO? 616 00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:29,400 WHO SHUT IT? 617 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:30,133 I THOUGHT YOU STARTED 618 00:14:30,133 --> 00:14:31,700 CURSING, MS. PAYNE. 619 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,700 I'M HAPPY TO KNOW YOU'RE STILL 620 00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:34,433 WITH THE LORD, BUT LISTEN -- 621 00:14:34,433 --> 00:14:35,633 YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO GROCERY 622 00:14:35,633 --> 00:14:38,133 SHOPPING WITH ME ANYMORE, OKAY? 623 00:14:38,133 --> 00:14:39,200 YES? 624 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:40,833 IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS -- I CAN COOK 625 00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:42,667 NOW, OKAY? 626 00:14:42,667 --> 00:14:44,267 [ CURTIS CHUCKLES ] 627 00:14:44,267 --> 00:14:46,233 THAT'S COOKING. 628 00:14:46,233 --> 00:14:47,767 THAT'S NOT COOKING. 629 00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,067 BABY, LISTEN, I HAVE TO GO 630 00:14:49,067 --> 00:14:50,933 WITH YOU BECAUSE I GOT TO MAKE 631 00:14:50,933 --> 00:14:52,500 SURE YOU GET CURTIS' FAVORITE 632 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,567 THINGS. 633 00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:54,900 HEY, BABY. 634 00:14:54,900 --> 00:14:56,167 BUT EVERYTHING IS HIS 635 00:14:56,167 --> 00:14:58,267 FAVORITE THING, AND HE'S NOT MY 636 00:14:58,267 --> 00:15:00,067 HUSBAND. 637 00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:00,967 HUH. 638 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:01,900 BABY, I KNOW HE AIN'T YOUR 639 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:04,400 HUSBAND -- LOOK AT ALL THAT MAN. 640 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,633 YOU CAN'T HANDLE ALL THAT MAN. 641 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:07,433 YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS OLD 642 00:15:07,433 --> 00:15:08,333 SCHOOL. 643 00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:09,133 YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE 644 00:15:09,133 --> 00:15:10,200 THAT MAN. 645 00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,167 [ CURTIS CHUCKLES ] 646 00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:13,600 YOU PROBABLY CAN'T HANDLE THAT 647 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:14,533 MAN! 648 00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:15,967 HELP ME, BABY! 649 00:15:15,967 --> 00:15:16,667 WELL, SET HER DOWN, 650 00:15:16,667 --> 00:15:17,300 SET HER DOWN. 651 00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,133 THERE SHE IS. 652 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:18,967 THERE IT GO. THERE SHE IS. 653 00:15:18,967 --> 00:15:20,067 WHOO! 654 00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,633 IT'S TIME I SET FORTH SOME 655 00:15:21,633 --> 00:15:22,833 RULES IN THIS HOUSE. 656 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,100 WAIT A MINUTE. 657 00:15:24,100 --> 00:15:26,567 RULE NUMBER ONE -- NOBODY 658 00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:29,867 EVER, EVER SITS IN MY CHAIR. 659 00:15:29,867 --> 00:15:31,300 WELL -- DON'T NOBODY WANT TO 660 00:15:31,300 --> 00:15:31,967 SIT IN THAT CHAIR. 661 00:15:31,967 --> 00:15:34,233 THAT WOOD -- IT'S A WOOD CHAIR. 662 00:15:34,233 --> 00:15:35,067 WHO THE HELL WANT TO SIT IN A 663 00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:36,267 WOOD CHAIR? 664 00:15:36,267 --> 00:15:38,333 NOW, RULE NUMBER TWO -- 665 00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,233 NOBODY CONTROLS THE TV REMOTE 666 00:15:40,233 --> 00:15:41,567 EXCEPT ME. 667 00:15:41,567 --> 00:15:42,500 DON'T NOBODY CARE ABOUT THAT 668 00:15:42,500 --> 00:15:44,100 DOGGONE REMOTE. 669 00:15:44,100 --> 00:15:46,200 I DON'T EVEN NEED THE REMOTE. 670 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,067 I'LL JUST HAVE YOU TAKE ME TO 671 00:15:47,067 --> 00:15:47,700 THE GAME. 672 00:15:47,700 --> 00:15:48,967 WILL YOU TAKE ME TO THE GAME? 673 00:15:48,967 --> 00:15:50,333 WITH WHAT MONEY? 674 00:15:50,333 --> 00:15:51,100 I STILL GOT YOUR CREDIT 675 00:15:51,100 --> 00:15:52,767 CARD -- YEAH, YEAH! 676 00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:53,867 I GOT THE CARD, I GOT HIS CARD! 677 00:15:53,867 --> 00:15:54,567 RULE NUMBER THREE-- 678 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:55,267 I DON'T LEAVE HOME 679 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:55,867 WITHOUT IT. 680 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:56,733 GIVE ME BACK MY CREDIT CARD. 681 00:15:56,733 --> 00:15:57,200 HUH? 682 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,333 GIVE ME BACK MY CREDIT CARD. 683 00:15:58,333 --> 00:15:59,267 HUH? 684 00:15:59,267 --> 00:16:01,067 GIVE ME -- GIVE ME BACK MY 685 00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:02,067 CREDIT CARD! 686 00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:05,533 HERE, GET -- GO AND GET IT. 687 00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:06,700 POP, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU 688 00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:07,633 WOULD DO THIS TO ME. 689 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:08,700 YOU ALL GOING TO MOVE IN HERE, 690 00:16:08,700 --> 00:16:10,233 RUNNING UP MY ELECTRICITY BILL, 691 00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:11,500 EATING UP ALL MY GOOD FOOD! 692 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,967 UGH! 693 00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:15,100 PAYBACK IS A MUG, AIN'T IT? 694 00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:15,767 [ ELLA CHUCKLES ] 695 00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:16,433 YES, SIR. 696 00:16:16,433 --> 00:16:17,867 YEAH! 697 00:16:17,867 --> 00:16:19,433 WE AIN'T LEAVIN' TILL WE DIE! 698 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,233 WHY YOU LOOKING SO UGLY? 699 00:16:27,700 --> 00:16:28,833 CALVIN! 700 00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:30,233 CALVIN? 701 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:30,933 I DOUBLE-CHECKED, MAN. 702 00:16:30,933 --> 00:16:32,233 IT'S DEFINITELY YOUR TUX. 703 00:16:32,233 --> 00:16:33,067 MY MAN. 704 00:16:33,067 --> 00:16:33,900 OKAY, NOW GO PUT YOUR STUFF 705 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:34,667 ON! 706 00:16:34,667 --> 00:16:38,167 [ TELEPHONE RINGS ] 707 00:16:38,167 --> 00:16:39,233 HELLO? 708 00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:41,067 OH, HEY, AUNTIE ELLA. 709 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,733 YEAH, WE WERE ALMOST DRESSED, 710 00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:44,300 THEN UNCLE CURTIS -- I MEAN, 711 00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,867 COUSIN CAL -- 712 00:16:46,867 --> 00:16:48,933 YEP -- HEY, BABY. 713 00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:50,500 HEY. 714 00:16:50,500 --> 00:16:52,200 NO, NO, EVERYTHING'S GOOD. 715 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:54,100 WE GOOD. 716 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,867 YEAH -- YEAH. 717 00:16:55,867 --> 00:16:56,667 WELL, THEN YOU NEED TO COME 718 00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,067 TELL HIM, THEN. 719 00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:00,233 NO -- BABY, I'VE BEEN DEALING 720 00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:01,533 WITH IT -- I'VE BEEN DEALING 721 00:17:01,533 --> 00:17:02,367 WITH HIM ALL DAY. 722 00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:03,867 IT'S YOUR TURN. 723 00:17:03,867 --> 00:17:07,467 OKAY. BYE-BYE. 724 00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:08,767 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 725 00:17:08,767 --> 00:17:10,333 SHE ASKED HOW WE WERE DOING. 726 00:17:10,333 --> 00:17:11,167 SO WHAT? 727 00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:12,200 YOU DON'T NEVER TELL A WOMAN 728 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:13,767 WHEN SOMETHING IS WRONG! 729 00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:15,167 AND WHY NOT? 730 00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:17,667 DID YOU TEACH THIS BOY 731 00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,467 ANYTHING? 732 00:17:19,467 --> 00:17:21,900 MALIK, WOMEN ARE WEAK! 733 00:17:21,900 --> 00:17:24,867 THEY'RE NOT AS STRONG AS MEN! 734 00:17:24,867 --> 00:17:26,333 THEY FALL APART WHEN STUFF 735 00:17:26,333 --> 00:17:27,367 HAPPEN -- THEY'RE A NERVOUS 736 00:17:27,367 --> 00:17:28,967 WRECK, ESPECIALLY ON A WEDDING 737 00:17:28,967 --> 00:17:30,067 DAY. 738 00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,100 POPS, POPS, WHO WAS THAT? 739 00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:31,900 WAS THAT MOM? 740 00:17:31,900 --> 00:17:33,400 UH, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? 741 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,467 OH, NO -- THEY'RE READY BEFORE 742 00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:35,467 WE ARE. 743 00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:36,167 IS MIRANDA MAD? 744 00:17:36,167 --> 00:17:36,933 THIS -- THIS IS BAD, POPS! 745 00:17:36,933 --> 00:17:37,533 THIS IS BAD! 746 00:17:37,533 --> 00:17:38,867 CHILL OUT! 747 00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:41,067 MAN UP, OKAY? MAN UP! 748 00:17:41,067 --> 00:17:42,700 OH, YEAH -- AND WOMEN, 749 00:17:42,700 --> 00:17:43,800 THEY'RE EMOTIONAL AND UNSTABLE, 750 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,400 YEAH. 751 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,767 HI, GUYS. 752 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,433 OH. 753 00:17:49,433 --> 00:17:51,900 LOOK -- C.J., YOU LOOK GREAT. 754 00:17:51,900 --> 00:17:54,533 OH, LOOK AT MY BABY. 755 00:17:54,533 --> 00:17:55,400 [ CURTIS CHUCKLES ] 756 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,700 OH, OH, OH! 757 00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,233 OH, CALVIN, YOU LOOK HANDSOME! 758 00:18:01,233 --> 00:18:03,067 CURTIS, DOESN'T HE LOOK GOOD? 759 00:18:03,067 --> 00:18:04,067 I THINK I LOOK PRETTY GOOD, 760 00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:04,700 TOO. 761 00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,500 YE-- MMM. 762 00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:08,833 ARE YOU READY? 763 00:18:08,833 --> 00:18:10,133 OH. 764 00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:11,300 YEAH, I'M AS READY AS I'LL EVER 765 00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,267 BE. 766 00:18:12,267 --> 00:18:13,900 SO, WHAT ABOUT YOUR VOWS? 767 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:14,733 OH, I GOT THAT COVERED, BIG 768 00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:15,333 DOG. 769 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,767 I WROTE A POEM CALLED "FOREVER." 770 00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:19,067 GOOD. 771 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:20,833 THAT'S BEAUTIFUL -- "FOREVER." 772 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:21,833 THAT'S GOOD, SWEETIE. 773 00:18:21,833 --> 00:18:23,300 OOH -- "FOREVER." 774 00:18:23,300 --> 00:18:24,367 [ LAUGHS ] 775 00:18:24,367 --> 00:18:26,467 IT'S CUTE. THIS IS GREAT. OKAY. 776 00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:27,733 UH, MOM? 777 00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:28,400 HMM? 778 00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:29,400 IS EVERYTHING OKAY, 'CAUSE 779 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:30,867 YOU'RE ACTING STRANGE. 780 00:18:30,867 --> 00:18:31,833 MIRANDA'S OKAY, RIGHT? 781 00:18:31,833 --> 00:18:32,667 SHE -- SHE STILL WANTS TO GET 782 00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:33,567 MARRIED, RIGHT? 783 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:34,667 YES! 784 00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:36,900 MIRANDA IS NEXT DOOR COOL AS A 785 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:38,300 CUCUMBER. 786 00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,733 LOOK, YOU KNOW HOW WOMEN ARE 787 00:18:40,733 --> 00:18:43,067 * ON THEIR WEDDING DAY * 788 00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:44,967 YEAH, SO I HEARD. 789 00:18:44,967 --> 00:18:46,067 OH. 790 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:48,567 BUT, LISTEN, JEFFREY HAD A 791 00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,267 LITTLE EMERGENCY, SO HE AND 792 00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:51,700 JULIA HAVEN'T EVEN ARRIVED YET, 793 00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:53,600 BUT DOES MIRANDA LOVE YOU? 794 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,533 AH! 795 00:18:55,533 --> 00:18:57,200 OH, SHE LOVES YOU, CALVIN, BUT 796 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:58,067 SHE'S NOT GOING TO GET DRESSED 797 00:18:58,067 --> 00:18:59,833 UNTIL * THEY GET HERE * 798 00:18:59,833 --> 00:19:01,700 SO THE WEDDING WILL BE DELAYED. 799 00:19:01,700 --> 00:19:03,900 SEE YOU. 800 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,433 WHOA! 801 00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:08,133 OH, GOODNESS 802 00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:09,400 OH!